How Have I Been Feeling of Late?

Get ready to read a WHOLE chapter from the Bible! This is perhaps my favorite chapter of the entire Bible.

"I cry out to God; yes, I shout.
Oh, that God would listen to me!
When I was in deep trouble,
I searched for the Lord.
All night long I prayed, with hands lifted toward heaven,
but my soul was not comforted.
I think of God, and I moan,
overwhelmed with longing for his help.

You don’t let me sleep.
I am too distressed even to pray!
I think of the good old days,
long since ended,
when my nights were filled with joyful songs.
I search my soul and ponder the difference now.
Has the Lord rejected me forever?
Will he never again be kind to me?
Is his unfailing love gone forever?
Have his promises permanently failed?
Has God forgotten to be gracious?
Has he slammed the door on his compassion?

And I said, “This is my fate;
the Most High has turned his hand against me.”
But then I recall all you have done, O Lord;
I remember your wonderful deeds of long ago.
They are constantly in my thoughts.
I cannot stop thinking about your mighty works.

O God, your ways are holy.
Is there any god as mighty as you?
You are the God of great wonders!
You demonstrate your awesome power among the nations.
By your strong arm, you redeemed your people,
the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.

When the Red Sea saw you, O God,
its waters looked and trembled!
The sea quaked to its very depths.
The clouds poured down rain;
the thunder rumbled in the sky.
Your arrows of lightning flashed.
Your thunder roared from the whirlwind;
the lightning lit up the world!
The earth trembled and shook.
Your road led through the sea,
your pathway through the mighty waters—
a pathway no one knew was there!
You led your people along that road like a flock of sheep,
with Moses and Aaron as their shepherds."
-Psalm 77

The whole Psalm depicts how I have been feeling lately. In the first couple of verses it states that the writer was to distressed to sleep, or even pray. I have been feeling that way a lot lately.

Like the one time I was in the car on a trip to Kentucky. I couldn't sleep, and I couldn't pray. It was one of the most aggravating things ever. As a result I ended up talking with an adult I trust a bunch, and I also read my Bible. 1 Corinthians to be exact. It was recommended that I read it and so I did, I also highlighted lots of important things.

When I talked with this adult I we talked about the possibility of me dating this one girl. This adult told me about what her son did before he started to date the woman he is now married to. She told me about how to tell if you really love someone everything in 1 Corinthians 13 should ring true in that relationship.

The things stated in 1 Corinthians 13 do not ring true in the relationship with my parents. Both my parents and I get angry at each other quickly, and it sucks. That said, we are going through family therapy which will hopefully help fix most of the problems.

Back to the Psalm. I often think back to the days when things were "better." The reason for the "'s is because every day is a good day. That is according to my cross country coach. He is a very smart man, and I agree with him. With the way he looks at things every day is a good one, so I can't possibly think of a day as bad. Sometimes I forget that every day is a good one, and I think of days as being bad. There is always the possibility of your day being worse. Thus everyday is a good one.

One of my friends who I know loves me has told me something many times. He has stated that God promised to never, ever forsake me. This means no matter how many doors I open for satan God will continue to love me. I think that is amazing. In the past I have been unfaithful to God, and have asked Him "why have you forsaken me?" Of course God hadn't forsaken me, or forgotten about me. It was just me being stupid and opening doors for satan to attack me.

Lately I have been under mega attack, and I have needed mega prayer. Which I have gotten, and I have not been under attack. Which is epic. I have been unwilling to pray for myself because I think that God will ignore my prayers or something. That is ridiculous. God sent His Son to die for me, and that means He loves me a bunch.

I want to be like the Red Sea in the Psalm. That means I want to tremble at the mention of God. Which I think is pretty legit. I want to have such a fear and respect for Him that I tremble at His name.

"He said in a loud voice, 'Fear God and give him glory, because the hour of his judgment has come. Worship him who made the heavens, the earth, the sea and the springs of water.'"
-Revelation 14:7

We should fear God. Not bad fear, but good fear. What does that mean? Well, it means we should have a healthy respect and fear for Him. We should be afraid of a God who very well could zap you into oblivion. We should fear God's righteous wrath. He could very well kill everyone, but He doesn't because we were made to love Him, and other people. I'm not trying to scare you by any stretch of the imagination. Just trying to inform you.