Hell Hath No Fury At All

Storm the Gates of Hell by Demon Hunter is the song I'm really meditating on right now.  It's the song that wraps me up in a neat little package with a razor wire bow.  I can't remember if I wrote about this already, but as a Christian we have two callings: to further the Kingdom of God and to fuck up satan's.

"You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder."

- James 2:19

You already have the victory.  You have nothing to fear.  Demons and satan can't touch you unless you directly let them or God gives them permission.  In either case, God has got your back to the point where you don't have to worry.  

By helping God's Kingdom you are tearing down satan's and vice versa.  Building up God's realm is just as simple as loving.  That's it.  

I have to admit, I still care about Angie after I broke up with her, and I still love her.  It's really rough on me, but I don't think I'll ever really get over caring or loving for her.  It's just something I need to accept. It's really hard for me to let anything go.

It's one of my faults and another is how I treat myself.  I let other people walk all over me and then I beat myself up after that by adding to their insults.  Then I get upset about beating myself up and then I want other people to fix me.  

I have a really big problem with not wanting to fix myself by myself.  I guess I need help, but only to a certain point.  *shrugs* I think I'm done.