Battle Cry

This post will hopefully be fairly lengthy as I have so much on my mind. Lately fighting has been on my mind. I don't mean just physical fighting but also every other kind of fight. Since I stopped running Junior year, I've decided lately I want to start doing martial arts.

Especially pressing on my mind has been the idea of Spiritual warfare. I know it isn't something I need to worry about; so I don't. I only give demons a thought when they are messing with me or someone else. However, the idea of just messing up satan and being a warrior for Christ is what fascinates me. I wish I could find the words to fully express why I want this. Having faith in Christ is enough to cause satan and all his legions to mark me as an enemy.

I want to be that enemy. I want to be that man who everyone thinks of when they think of a Christian. I want to be the person who is willing to die for his faith. One of my favorite, and lengthy quotes, touches on this:

"War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war is 

much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight, 

nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable 

creature, and has no chance of being free unless made or kept so by the 

exertions of better men than himself."

-John Stuart Mill

This quote reminds me if I am unwilling to fight for freedom in any sense, I am not the best person I can be.

Daddy

I know I said I was done with this blog, and I am in a way.  I'm done with posting flowery diary stuff.

Tonight I went to Maundy-Thursday service at church.  We celebrated the Seder Meal and my mind was blown.  Every single expectation I had about God and tradition and everything else has been utterly wrecked.  For the past couple days I have been wrestling with the idea of perception.  Like, how do people see me?  What do they think of when they look at me?  Who decides what "truth" is?

What if the way we see "truth" is actually wrong?  Take people with dyslexia for example, we say they see letters and words incorrectly.  What if they are seeing them the right way?  Who said, "they way  the majority views stuff is right."  Recently my family and I got into a fight about forgiveness.  They say God won't forgive me until I forgive them.  According to their logic I'm going to hell because I can't forgive them for the things they have done.

I disagree.  I can't forgive until God forgives me.  If what they think is right, then how would I know how to forgive?  I wouldn't.  What gives them the right to shut me down and tell me I'm wrong?

Now I feel like I can't talk with them about the things I enjoy to discuss.  I could care less about most common conversations.  I don't like to sit around and talk about the weather or whatever.  I would much rather be up to my elbows in the muck of life.  What can I do to fix this problem?  How can I help other people?  Those are the things I care about.  Then there's of course the other conversations I have about say having my kid on the moon so they can rule the moon.  It's silly, but those are the kinds of things I care about.

Lately I've been asking God to give me heart after His.  I want to pray for other people as God would have me pray and serve them as God would have me serve.  Daddy, I want to be like you.

Well Then

I have a totally different blog that is specifically for updating and promoting my personal works.  Check it out here.